Aug 4, 2008
Weird Ads...Sorry
By the way...sorry about some of the ads on my page. I was trying out Adsense with Google, and I need to figure out how to not allow some less than stellar ads, namely Dirty Girls, Picture Women, Cute Women...supposedly they're tailored to your audience and I assume they got some of this stuff from my subject matter. But it has definitely been misconstrued. So my apologies. I am not in favor of gross stuff like that.
Walmart, Heavyset Older Women and Vampire Love Stories
So I go to Walmart the other day...which I basically try to avoid, because here in Utah all you find there are really cheap people, who basically annoy the crap out of me. And there's usually a ton of people there even at like three in the afternoon. And I hate waiting in line. No let me rephrase...I loathe waiting in line. Especially when I have only one thing to buy. So, back to being at Walmart. I roll in there in the 100 degree heat, heft the baby's two ton car seat out of the car into the shopping cart, roll into Walmart and get my book.
Let me just interject for a second. I was there to purchase the fourth book in the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer, who went to BYU. Yes she's mormon. A mormon wrote a love story about vampires...actually four books worth of one. And I'd just like to say that I basically was super hooked and I read the first three books in like a week. That's like 4200 pages, give or take. (Yes...I know what you're thinking...and yes, I am a gifted reader...okay, okay AND writer...now stop flattering me.) So I go to pick up this fourth book, which I have now finished, in a day and a half...and it was really good. But I'd just like to say that the second two books were pretty much crap. They were a means to an end, a way to make a little more money for herself. Kind of drawn out in my opinion. And let's face it...New Moon was painful...there's really no other word to describe it, besides well...painstaking...torturous really. The only good part was like the last two chapters. But I will say that everything comes together quite well in the fourth book and I have to say Meyer is a better writer than I thought. But she's no J.K. Rowling, or J.R.R Tolkien. That's all I'll say.
Back to Walmart. So I roll in, pick up my book off the table under the canopy where the night before they had a huge party for this thing to come out. Team Jacob...Team Edward...all that crap, with cakes and face painting and people dressed up. It really brought out the crazies. (We happened to be there getting a high chair with John's parents...but I digress.) So I grab my book, and get in line...but the line is way way long in the express...so I decide to try another one. I end up down at the very far end by all the food, where I see a really short line at the checkout. One person, almost done! So I start making a bee line for it. And this is where my annoyance with Walmart customers gets justified. Out of the corner of my eye I see an older lady, coming out of the clothes section just a few feet in front of me. I know instinctively that she's ready to go to the check out. So I step up the pace, as nonchalantly as possible, edging just in front of her, but subtly. But she doesn't give up! She's coming on fast and hard! I peer back to the left and she's still there, gaining. We both knew we wanted that checkout. I slide in behind the lady that's already there and she's beat! But then she found one with no one at the check out in front of mine and she was checking out before me! I was so annoyed. I felt like we were little kids racing our go carts, except I am a 24 year old mom and she was a heavyset sixty something year old lady, just giving it our all to get to the check out first. Now I will readily admit that I was acting like a lame Walmart customer that I hate. But that's why I hate Walmart! Because it turns me into that shovey, cheap person that I can't stand. I feel like I'm Utah County all over again for crying out loud! I get infected with the bad attitude. But in that second, I just had to get to the checkout first! I had stuff to do, and being in line for a minute more would have killed me, wouldn't it? And for the split second that I thought that I won, I felt pretty good...that I beat a sixty year old fat lady to the checkout. But in my defense, I had a baby carrier in my cart. That adds like 20 pounds, and not to mention much less maneuverability.
I got in, I got my cheap thirteen dollar hardback of Breaking Dawn, and I got out...sidestepping the lines, and faster than an old lady...okay at the same time. And I only got a little poor on me.
Let me just interject for a second. I was there to purchase the fourth book in the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer, who went to BYU. Yes she's mormon. A mormon wrote a love story about vampires...actually four books worth of one. And I'd just like to say that I basically was super hooked and I read the first three books in like a week. That's like 4200 pages, give or take. (Yes...I know what you're thinking...and yes, I am a gifted reader...okay, okay AND writer...now stop flattering me.) So I go to pick up this fourth book, which I have now finished, in a day and a half...and it was really good. But I'd just like to say that the second two books were pretty much crap. They were a means to an end, a way to make a little more money for herself. Kind of drawn out in my opinion. And let's face it...New Moon was painful...there's really no other word to describe it, besides well...painstaking...torturous really. The only good part was like the last two chapters. But I will say that everything comes together quite well in the fourth book and I have to say Meyer is a better writer than I thought. But she's no J.K. Rowling, or J.R.R Tolkien. That's all I'll say.
Back to Walmart. So I roll in, pick up my book off the table under the canopy where the night before they had a huge party for this thing to come out. Team Jacob...Team Edward...all that crap, with cakes and face painting and people dressed up. It really brought out the crazies. (We happened to be there getting a high chair with John's parents...but I digress.) So I grab my book, and get in line...but the line is way way long in the express...so I decide to try another one. I end up down at the very far end by all the food, where I see a really short line at the checkout. One person, almost done! So I start making a bee line for it. And this is where my annoyance with Walmart customers gets justified. Out of the corner of my eye I see an older lady, coming out of the clothes section just a few feet in front of me. I know instinctively that she's ready to go to the check out. So I step up the pace, as nonchalantly as possible, edging just in front of her, but subtly. But she doesn't give up! She's coming on fast and hard! I peer back to the left and she's still there, gaining. We both knew we wanted that checkout. I slide in behind the lady that's already there and she's beat! But then she found one with no one at the check out in front of mine and she was checking out before me! I was so annoyed. I felt like we were little kids racing our go carts, except I am a 24 year old mom and she was a heavyset sixty something year old lady, just giving it our all to get to the check out first. Now I will readily admit that I was acting like a lame Walmart customer that I hate. But that's why I hate Walmart! Because it turns me into that shovey, cheap person that I can't stand. I feel like I'm Utah County all over again for crying out loud! I get infected with the bad attitude. But in that second, I just had to get to the checkout first! I had stuff to do, and being in line for a minute more would have killed me, wouldn't it? And for the split second that I thought that I won, I felt pretty good...that I beat a sixty year old fat lady to the checkout. But in my defense, I had a baby carrier in my cart. That adds like 20 pounds, and not to mention much less maneuverability.
I got in, I got my cheap thirteen dollar hardback of Breaking Dawn, and I got out...sidestepping the lines, and faster than an old lady...okay at the same time. And I only got a little poor on me.
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