Dec 25, 2006

This Very Christmas Night

So...I'm sitting here in American Fork Hospital on Christmas Day next to my husband of a little over one week. John is laying here recovering from an emergency appendectomy. The honeymoon is definitely over...but not necessarily in a bad way. He had been sick all last night with what seemed to be either food poisoning or a bad stomach flu. He was adamant about not going to the doctor. However around noon today, the pain started to worsen in his stomach. And when he looked at me and said "The pain is getting worse baby," with the voice of a scared little boy I told him we were going to the doctor. I didn't care what his objections on the subject were And in that same scared whisper he said "okay." And as we were waiting in the emergency room and he was crying in pain, I knew it was good we had come. Which by the way...I've never understood that. It's called the emergency room, yet you wait? Isn't emergency by definition mean urgency? And the staff there walk around like they've got all the time in the world. That has got to be the most frustrating thing of the whole deal. We're sitting in the waiting room and this person who appears to be fine gets in before us, because he came five minutes earlier, while John is clearly doubled over in pain. Ridiculous. I would have done anything to have been the one in pain instead of him. You honestly know that you care for someone with everything you are when you can't bear the thought of them suffering in any way. Finally he got some pain meds and some care, and just in time too because I couldn't watch him squirm anymore. They ran some tests and his appendix was inflammed so they decided it needed to come out and six hours from the time we arrived at the hospital he is out of surgery and recovering. So Christmas eve I walked the dogs alone, ate potstickers and nursed my sick husband. And Christmas day I've been at the hospital most of the day. But now that John is safe and out of surgery and they got his appendix out just in time, a sense of what Christmas is truly about and an awe at the many blessings I have, has been renewed in me this Christmas night. While John was in so much pain and we didn't know why and then when he was in surgery I knew exactly how much he meant to me and how much I loved him. The thought of him leaving me seemed so unfair and cruel. But I wasn't thinking about the Christmas dinner and festivities that we missed with my family, or the presents and the fun we could have been having right then. All I could think about was John and my need for him to be okay. And I can see already how this experience has brought us closer together and even showed John how much he loves me too. So while I would never want him to have had to go through this, I am grateful that we did. Because Christmas isn't about ribbons or presents or trees or lights or good food. It's about Christ and his birth and ultimately his sacrifice for us, so that he could take away any sin or heartache or pain that we would have to endure. And I have felt the power of that sacrifice on this night, this very Christmas night, in a hospital room in American Fork, Utah.