If Only for the Kid

I'm just so pregnant. I always looked forward to getting pregnant when I was younger, excited about the prospect of being a mom, and I guess I had visions of myself as this cute little pregnant lady who would be in style and wear cute little clothes with a basketball just sticking out my shirt. And though I'm still excited at the prospect of being a mom, the wonderful vision of a cute pregnancy has quickly faded into the reality of what my pregnancy really is, a fat pregnancy. That's right. I went to the doctor a couple days ago for my sixth month appointment. And I gained too much weight this month. Having looked at pictures of myself just before I got pregnant it is definitely true. But isn't it the slow and steady weight gain that just scares the crap out of you? The kind that you don't really notice and don't really mind until you wake up one morning and you're shopping at Lane Bryant? (This has not happened to me yet...and hopefully I will lose at least ten right when the baby comes out, I'm just illustrating a point.) It's not the weight gain that bothers me so much, though, because if it was just that pregnancy would rock. Eat what you want, feel great, pop out a kid nine months later. What really makes it unbearable is the inability to do anything that you normally do. From what you eat to how you sleep, to the in style fashions you just can't wear, or the tanning booth you can't go to, the colors you can't dye your hair, the high heels that hurt way too much now, the hot tubs you can't swim in, or rides you can't ride, sports you can't play, and drugs (prescription people) you can't take, pregnancy seems like a long list of probably shouldn'ts, can'ts and definitely do nots, unless you want your kid to die, be deformed or retarded in some way, or die yourself. The sugar on top has been that I can't wear my wedding ring anymore. Ya, it doesn't fit. My hands are too swollen/fat (along with my ankles, feet and basically face.) So now I look like I got knocked up and have no husband. Don't get me wrong, it's great too, there's lots of wonderful moments. Like the first time you see the baby on the ultrasound, or when you feel him kick, or see the look on your husband's face when he feels the baby move for the first time. It's all really magical and special. Maybe some people have it much easier and love everything about their pregnancy. (Probably the basketball stomach people who don't gain weight any place else besides their baby.) But I have to just tell myself that it will be over one day, and then I will be able to starve myself and go tanning like all normal people. Until then, I will press on in my three pairs of pants and two skirts that still fit me, and continue to endure whatever this pregnancy thing throws at me, if only for the kid. Only four more months...