No, it was not an accident. Surprise? Not to me.

Yes, it's true folks. Not only was I the first girl in my graduating class to actually commit to someone and tie the knot, but now I will be the first girl to have a child (in wedlock that is). Do miracles never cease? Well, I'll share the story of how all this began. So John and I had been married for about 5 months, and the whole time I'd been doing my internship. So of course I'd been stressed, and tired and just thought that my somewhat depressed and somber mood and sudden tearful outbursts were only the work of a lot of change as well as two people with different schedules, new jobs and no time. When one night John and I decided that I was not myself and basically that is was the birth control that I was on. Which was the Nuva Ring. So after a convo about all my weird personality changes, like depression ( I'm always happy), sadness even when I wanted to be happy (seriously we were on vacation), random tearful outbursts over nothing (one night john didn't say I love you and goodnight, so I turned over to have a good cry about it), and other general crazy mood swings, including headaches, fatigue and just wanting to rip people's heads off.

One time, when I was still a lunch lady for my internship, this little first grader was moving through the line with the speed of a special olympic hurdler. And he had a look on his face to match. It was all I could do not to tap on the glass in my fit of Nuva Ring rage and yell "Move it along you little terd!" When I started experiencing the inner fiery rage towards complete strangers on the street, just because of the look on their faces, or their slower than normal left hand turn, I knew something was up. But it was not until that night that I realized when John and I were discussing it, that I truly was crazy. And I felt crazy. So that month I took out the Nuva Ring. The next month all was well, then the month after that I found myself with child. I went to John's work because I could barely contain my excitement and told him. He was ecstatic, but didn't really believe me at first, since we hadn't been trying that long. But he was so happy and called his parents, and I called my mom. It was pretty special. Both families are pretty stoked.

So we had decided that night when I stopped the Nuva Ring that we would leave it up the big guy upstairs to decide when we got pregnant, having each known lots of people who took a long time to conceive, we figured we didn't want to be stuck at 30 with no baby. Little did we know that we are two of the most fertile people on the planet. So I guess next time we'll take more precautions. But we essentially didn't take any after that decision. Then one night John was telling his best friend that we were pregnant. I only heard one side of the convo, but this is what I heard. John: "Ya man, she's pregnant!" "Ya we're pretty excited." "Ya it was a surprise." To last part I couldn't help but burst out laughing. I'm like "It wasn't a surprise!" We knew this was going to happen...we were having unprotected sex. A lot. To which John's like "Well it was a surprise to me!"

But he's elated...as long as it's a boy. LOL. Atleast that's what he keeps telling me. Something along the lines of teaching him to pee in the snow or on the wall or something. You know boy stuff, penises, manliness. All subjects that elude me. But either way I'll be happy. I want whatever we're having and I'm sure I'll love it no matter what. So today we heard the heart beat, which was really fast, but normal apparently. And I'm supposed to maybe be able to feel it now or soon. Which I thought was hilarious, because the doctor's like..have you felt the baby yet? I'm like, "I don't know what does it feel like?" And she replies, well it might either feel like a gas bubble moving, or like a butterfly fluttering real low down there in your abdomen." So I'm like, "Well I might have, I mean I have a lot of gas." But come on! How am I supposed to distinguish between gas and a baby. Even though ever since then I've found myself stopping and muting the TV, yelling at the dogs to stop licking themselves, and concentrating real hard to see if I can feel anything. But then I come to my senses and realize I'm insane. I did think I felt something at one point, but then I just had to fart. So most likely NOT the baby.

But anyways, it's been an interesting ride so far. Morning sickness sucks. It shouldn't be called morning sickness, it should be called stop eating sickness, because it comes whenever I'm about to eat something I've really been looking forward to, ruining the meal for me. All for the best I guess, the more I can slow the growth rate of my butt cheeks the better, and just when I thought my boobs couldn't get any bigger...they have now started growing outward in a cone shape, like the Madonna video. If I lived in the fifties I'd fit right in I think. So needless to say I never leave my room without a bra on. Cause I did one morning to take the dogs out and got some pretty interesting looks from the neighbors. But I'll say this, I doubt the baby will have any trouble latching on when the time comes to breast feed. Well I'm sure that's too much info. But anyways I guess I better end this blog, it's pretty rambly and incoherent. Enjoy your thin bodies, and shirts that don't ride up while you can!